Most recipes I have come across use a pie dough for the pastry but I was really stuck on getting a crust that was a little more sturdy - one with an egg. Neither can my still-not-over-the-Goonies-thing husband, who responded to my “what should I make next? I’ve got a muffin, salad, cake and pop tarts on my list” query this weekend with a “you know how to make Pop Tarts and you haven’t yet?” (Don’t you love hearing things from his perspective? He’s had similar reactions to fried chicken and peanut butter crispy bars.) I can’t believe I waited so long to make these. But even at its most ideal, it could never be anything but a compromise for me: a dry, flavorless, glycerin, high fructose corn syrup, “artificial strawberry flavor”-ed version of what could be homemade and flawless. Also, it is entirely possible that a dusty dormitory basement doesn’t have, say, the packaged pastry turnover a large grocery store chain. And maybe the brown sugar cinnamon variety isn’t exactly the most vibrant. I understand that if I had toasted it, my experience might have been better. I choked down my first bite, then chugged some water, convinced bits were stuck in my throat. ![]() It was like particle board, but even particle board has a fresher aroma. or anything, either, nope, not this angel!). ![]() Obviously I grew up under a rock, right? Thus, given my proximity to concrete-like materials you’d think I have been better prepared for the texture of the one I purchased from the vending machine in the basement of my freshman dorm (not at 4 a.m. I realize that for some people this may cause a shocked reaction on par with my husband’s the time I told him I’ve never watched Goonies before (or Jacob’s, upon discovering the internet).
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